The dollhouse

D-DAY! It has been 3 years since I went to Disneyland for the last time and I had never felt that excited to go back there again. I was 16, now you are probably thinking that was very childish for a girl my age to go to that kind of environment, but I couldn’t fight against that desire! It seemed like I’ve been thinking about this magical dollhouse, this fairy and imaginary world all my life. I’ve been humming this song in my head over and over, hearing those tiny voices in my ears, redesigning those costumes and decors in my mind, smelling that fragrance of joy and happiness in my dream.  That was finally the moment.

            As soon as I entered the amusement park I ran to the dollhouse with my best friend. We waited for two hours in the line, which made the show even more astounding. Every step that got us closer to the attraction, every parcels of this colorful and girly castle that we glimpsed, got us more and more excited. The long-awaited moment arrived: we were finally going to see all those dolls masked, dressed with fancy and glittering clothes, incredibly coiffed in this rich and perfectly beautiful world surrounding by water that all little girls have dreamed of.

            It was our turn! Rush of adrenalin! 3,2,1,0! Let’s board in the boat. The suspense was as its height. We slowly moved, first rounding over the castle where some dolls were going in and out of a fancy alarm, then passing in front of a huge and splashing fountain and finally, we entered the tunnel that will got us inside the attraction. A long and dark tunnel that seemed never-ending. The music got louder and amplified, tickling our ears and cherishing our memories. Will it feel the same?

            They were here, finally! We followed the usual path, from France to China, from Mexico to the United States, from Italy to India... We were travelling all over the world surrounding by an amazing show that were dazzling us. In this dark sky, sparkling jewels, bright dresses, sculptural shoes but also colossal lions, adorned elephants, friendly monkeys, vivid parrots, exotic trees, multicolored flowers… made us feel so small and almost non-existent! We really thought we were in heaven! Nothing in the world could be as delightful as the experience we were living.

                I was amazed, but it doesn’t taste the same! I still loved the show but not for the same reasons. As a child I only saw the superficial aspects. Let’s face it: I was blind but now that I grew up, that I became more mature I am aware of the moral of the story. I started to see the intellectual part of this attraction that I’ve never seen before. It was actually a utopic world were all regions of the world were in good terms, even collaborating, living in a perfect world in a music that was actually a hymn for peace and universal fraternity. Young children sang, in different languages following the part of the world that we were crossing, “It’s a small world after all”. We all wish our world would look like that wonderland: a haven of peace in every country, a good understanding between every single ones, singing credulous songs hand in hand, no racial issues, but that is definitely out of touch with the real world.

              This moment was both magical and puzzling. For the first time I realized that I couldn’t force myself to love the same thing as when I was younger, as much as I wanted to feel like I was still 13, I was no longer a child. I finally saw myself in line with the world my parents are living in; I was turning into an adult. I had a bitter taste in my mouth, but that allowed me to bring me back to reality. My eyes are now wide open. I am now supposed to be responsible and act like a young adult, stop acting and thinking like a child but truly, I was not prepared for that and I didn’t want to, but we all have to grow up, right?